Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
