you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
