I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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