Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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