I wannas sexs uuuuu
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
