My nipple is on Facebook.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
