why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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