one two three fourrrrnication!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
