It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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