Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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