This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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