How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I think I sprained my soul last night
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
