hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
