I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
