I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
