So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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