I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
