remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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