Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Drake has all the answers
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize