you would pick up someone in the library
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
