My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
