In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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