STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
