He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
