Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
