id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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