mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
