Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You may now shotgun with the bride
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
