between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
