i just had sex bonerless
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
