I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
