OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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