he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
