do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
