yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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