did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
