I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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