I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
