We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
