He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
