Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
