party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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