i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
