i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm really busy with my period
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