I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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