i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just puked most of my soul out..
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