i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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