i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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