dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
