making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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