Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
