is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Its about making memories worth repressing
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
